Keeping in Touch

*I'm sure this topic has been beaten to death by anyone whose moved, gone to college or just drifted away from people but i have to address it. Feel free to close the page at any moment thinking that I'm whining because I can't be left alone.


It's one of those nights where you can't sleep and all you do is stare at the ceiling, trying in vain to fall asleep. I don't know how the topic came up, but out of all the thoughts, people, events that came to mind my best friend is the one that stuck out the most. I just started thinking to myself that we're not all that close anymore. I see her twice a week, drive her to work and we part ways after that. It's a depressing feeling to have when you lose touch with someone you only live 10 min away from, and see twice a week. Whenever I get this feeling I realize it eventually gets better but it feels like this period of drifting apart has gone for quite sometime and I can't find an explanation as to why. I want things to get better or at least stop myself from always bringing up this horrid feeling.

All this thinking of drifting apart with people led me to all the people in Austin and College Station. I don't even talk to some of those people as often anymore. I occasionally text them to say "hey" but no real calling and communicating. Is this what its come to now? AIM, Facebook, and texts? It feels so cold communicating through those mediums. A "lol" or "haha" doesn't give you the joy a real laugh or conversation gives you in person. It makes you feel so disconnected with people that when you see them after a few months of just Facebook you don't even know how to fucking converse like normal people anymore. It's just sucks all the color from the memories you've had with that person. You look back on it, and wonder how did this happen, why to us, why when we "stayed in touch" for all this time? I'm sick of feeling like this.

Of course, I'm not saying that I keep in touch with everyone I know because I don't. I do put forth effort to do so though. At times it's like a growing wound to do so because some people don't ever acknowledge you efforts. Everytime you call and they hit ignore, or brush off your attempts just to say "hi" hurts like no other. Especially when you thought you were close to that person. Everytime that happens it feels someone is just trashing all the memories you have with them. They just shove you to that back of their mind and hope they never have to see or hear you again. To anyone thats done that to someone they said they were friends with needs to rethink how they treat people. I don't know how you do it without feeling bad. How does one go about discarding a person? Fuck if I know.

Currently Listening to: Minus The Bear - Lemurs, Man, Lemurs

I thought I would try letting people know what I listening to while I wrote these things. They definetly effect how I think at times, and the style I'm writing with. Eventually I'll put up a link to the songs so you guys can download them without scouring limewire.