Drop It Like It's Hot

there's something about
the sound under the clouds today
maybe its just me
but it feels off in someway

it might be your voice is missing
i dont hear it anymore
all i hear is rain hit the windows
and the cars that drive by in a roar

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About a close friend. Don't read if you don't care to know how I over think everything.

I've come to terms with the idea that in 4 years time, you and I won't even talk like we used to. In just this year I feel like we've become distant and that really bothers me every time I think about it. You're the only person I've ever been this confident in; the only person to listen to me talk about things that other people find stupid; the only person whose managed to change part of my personality (whether or not you wanted to); the only person who I've never been bothered by.

I make it sound like we went out when we didn't, but we are really close and now that's going away. I totally understand why though which makes this all that much harder for me to take in. You have your own life and you're busy with it. I can't always expect you to pick up when I need or want you to. I can't always expect you to call me back, or expect you to always reply to my texts. I can't expect all this from you anymore cause things are changing and we're growing up. We're not in the middle of high school anymore, where calling you on Friday night resulted in us having a long conversation about nothing in particular. I wish it was, but it's just that: A wish.

The only reason I wanted that watch from you was so I could always have something given to me, because I never really did have anything from you. I like to think of it as carrying thoughts and memories with me where ever I go. I did that with my old watch, and now I'm doing it with the one you gave me for Christmas. It's the idea that every time someone compliments me on that watch I'd be thinking "good call" on your part. That's why I wanted you to pick it out. You're the only person who knows me well enough to pick something out that I'd wear everyday like I do with my watch.

All I really know is that once the point comes where we've split in two opposite directions, and I realize it, it's going to hurt more than anything I've ever felt before. I'll get over it, move on, and be ok. We all eventually become ok with the way things turn out and this will probably be no exception either. The only thing I really want you to remember is what we talked about. When I hit 29 I'll still remember what we said, and I'll be wondering if you're going to be thinking the same thing.

Maybe I'm just over thinking the situation and you're just busy. Eventually things will calm down and get back to the normal, ridiculous conversations. This seems to the case with me most of the time. But with college coming up, who knows where you'll end up and where I'll end up. I just hope I'm wrong about this. This is the one thing I would admit to being wrong within a moments notice.