what they fuck is wrong with me? I'm hurting so badly I can't even handle it anymore and it sucks. It's consuming me like nothing has before. The even more pathetic thing about where I'm at is that I can't hate you. I couldn't hate you in Seattle when you got me yelled at by Mrs. Tung and I can't bring myself to hate you now. Even when it feels like you don't care about being friends anymore, even when you ignore any form of communication I attempt, even when you reluctantly text me back in the morning it comes down to one thing: I can't hate you or even feel the slightest bit of dislike for you cause it's no ones fault. That's just life and I'm having the hardest time accepting it right now.
I only call you so much cause I miss listening to someone talk and engaging in conversation with someone. I can't do that with anyone around me right now, only you. I feel so comfortable when we talk that I can say anything and not be worried about you walking away. What I really miss the most the is the listening though. I just want to listen to you talk because I like to hear about peoples lives and you always have something to say that makes me smile or that I find interesting. I want that back again but I know it won't happen. I know you won't even read this and I'll never say this to you. I know that when it's all said and done, none of this is going to matter and we'll all just keep going.
God I wish I was in Seattle right now instead of 10 minutes away from you.
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